Sketch Diary: Floating Voter

Did you know mobility scooters did this?

In a crowded House of Lord's commitee room this woman eerily levitated five foot into the air to make a point.

Sketch Diary: Bus-Spotter Spotting

Spotted: A bus spotter.

Just writing down the five-digit number above the driver's window. Of every bus that went past. In the rain.

Dream Diary: Let's go home, Mr Obama

I'm resorting to drawing dreams again, sorry. The physical realm just hasn't been very interesting lately.
You have to admit, this one's fairly prophetic though. Just me and Barack, the lone survivors returning from a DREADFUL WAR.

In a MINIBUS. IN DORSET

Sketch Diary: Physio gets weirder

I'm not sure if my physiotherapist hates me but she made me do this on a treadmill the other day.

Sketch Diary: Orthopaedo

An attractive blonde physiotherapist calls me into her office.
Hmm...she's nice.
She orders me to take my clothes off.
Ooh...interesting...
She has really cold hands.
Oh.
She assesses how enfeebled my shoulder joint has become and prescribes some light rotator cuff exercises.

SKetch Diary: Gym Junkies

I have taken advantage of a government scheme designed for fat diabetic crack whores and joined a gym. Luckily it appears to be a lame person's gym, full of other people walking round pretending to stretch and scratch and do anything except lug the huge heavy iron blocks up and down. There's even people just standing there having their buttocks vibrated for them by a big machine.

Sketch Diary: Smoking Bin

Here's evidence of Hammersmith's nicotine-addled office workers, hundreds of whom simultaneously dump their burning death sticks into a bin by the tube station as they rush home. It reminded me a bit of the smoking thing that mental Pope dude waves about.

Sketch Diary: Sorry

Nothing sketch worthy at all this week. I'm testing out some new fancy pencils with a drawing of a man I see every morning, who organises the bus chaos in Hammersmith station. He is noteworthy only for having a very evil face. Like an Aphex Twin remix of Jim Rosenthal.

He seems like quite a jovial, nice guy, I should add.

Sketch Diary: Silly Billy

On Saturday morning I woke and thought it would be nice to run the 0.77 miles to the shops to get a paper. It was an idiotic decision. I soon remembered I hate jogging, and I'm never doing it again. Then, later, I broke my brand new £2.49 Dunlop Tournament Pro table tennis paddle. I still feel physically sick with grief and fury.

Sketch Diary: The March of The Miserable

Clibbetty cloppetty, clibbetty cloppetty.


This is a sketch of my daily trudge out of the clammy, flourescent funk of the Underground, toward the icy orange drizzle of the evening. We all want to get home, but can only coordinate this painfully slow shuffle towards the buses.

I often contemplate whether the destruction of the entire world would be such a bad thing at this point in my commute home. But only for a few minutes! I'm fine by the time I get home, after I've had a little cry.

Sketch Diary: Huge Jeep, Headbutt, Headache

My ten-minute jolly to Tesco Metro Hammersmith at lunchtime has sadly become the most fruitful time of the week for sketch diary material. On Wednesday, I slipped and smashed my head into a parked Range Rover.

Ok, Snow and Ice, we had fun, but it's been three days. You can fuck off now.

Sketch Diary: Fuck Da Po-lice

"When they kick out your front door
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head
Or on the trigger of your gun?"
Oh, hi!
Yeah no, sorry. I didn't hear anything. I was watching TV and then I did hear the door go about seven but I didn't answer it because I just, ignored it. Sorry.
Would you like a cup of tea?

Sketch Diary: That Wall is Well Wall

One of the few sketches that actually look better after I scanned it. The wall actually looks like a wall. Unfortunately, me and friends look barely human, because I'd redrawn the faces so many times the paper would have broken if I'd continued trying. I copied this from a brilliant arty photo taken in a tube station in Brussels. Now I know the formula for looking cool in pictures (don't smile and stand in a stupid position relative to everyone else), I'll be doing it more often.

Sketch Diary: The Day The World Changed

November 4th, 2008. The world changed for many people that day. Not me. I copied this from a photo off the internet while eating an egg after work on November 5th.
I didn't trace it though.Tracing things is really rubbish. Copying is ok.

Sketch Diary: This took ages

This took a disproportionate amount of time to draw for the result. Drawing stairs from an unusual angle is a fookin' nightmare.

I'm still doing the little comments in capitals on my sketches that make it look like I'm trying to do one of those 'real life' graphic novels about having cancer or something, which isn't what I'm doing.
I think I was trying to be funny. Or maybe I thought for a moment I was actually writing a graphic novel, and this incident on the stairs was really significant and poignant, which it would be, if only I did have cancer and could put 'because of the medication' in the caption.

Sketch Diary: Skibby-dibby-dibby dong do-dong dong

Not a particularly good picture, but a nice reminder that I turn into a disgusting ferral ape-boy when I'm on my own for more than a week.

I really just need to get some balls and press harder with the pencil when I'm drawing. Mr Shackleton told me that ten years ago in school, and did I listen? No, I didn't, because he looked like Scatman John.

Due to the crapness of my scanner/ing a sneek preview of the next Sketch Diary entry appears in the background of this drawing...
...[update] which is the one above this post now anyway.

Sketch Diary: The Doctor

This doctor played with my face for a bit before telling me I had a rare genetic skin condition that he thought was really cool.

I realise the speech bubbles make it look like I'm trying to do one of those 'real life' graphic novels about having cancer or something, so I might stop doing them.

Sketch Diary: Sketch Diary begins with a bang

My first picture. Excited at my new project and materials, I drew myself drawing while sat on my own in my flat doing fuck all. I added the sarcastic comment later.

Sketch Diary: Welcome to my blog

Hello. My sketch diary is falling apart so I'm putting my sketches online. I'm not just going to talk/ type about myself to myself though, like most blogs. Hello?
Maybe I am. We'll see.
I've kept my weirder pictures seperate from the sketch diary. The sketch diary's main purpose is to record things I've done this year that I thought were visually interesting. Very little or none of it is actually interesting, of course.

Hope you're enjoying it so far, unfortunate reader, whoever you are.

Oh, that's me. Boo hoo.