Sketch Diary: Sham Cam

On my break at work I found myself in the thick of the action at a Paralympics Expo in Trafalgar square. Boris is there, grinning and doing his trademark "er-er-er". That slightly famous black guy in a wheelchair is there.  

 

Then a big silver car turns up and bang, it's David Cameron, right there in front of me. The only way to describe him in the flesh is like a man with a latex David Cameron mask on, or a very realistic inflatable David Cameron.

Then I bought a smoked salmon sandwich from EAT which had an unusually large amount of filling in it. It was an all-time classic in terms of lunch breaks.

Sketch Diary: Under The Cover of Darkness

Old Street, late at night. 

I'm pretty sure this homeless man was er, wanking.

The focus of his attention seemed to be a line of attractive youngsters queuing up in their skimpy party clobber.

They seemed unaware there was (fairly frenzied) self-abuse at close-quarters and as usual it was just me that did a double-take, searing the awful image onto my retinas for all time.

Sketch Diary: Wet 'n' Wild

I'm still new to cycling, and wasn't prepared when it fucking pissed down with rain one day.


My first "wet ride" was so wet people were going "awww" and pointing when I rode past. We're talking sopping wet pants here.

Sketch Diary: Slap Head

I looked up at this woman driving past just as she slapped herself in the head for forgetting something and screeched to a halt.

Great stuff.

Sketch Diary: Falling Down (Part II)

Here I render my catastrophic attempt to jump over a large bush outside a bar. I went over like a mannequin being chucked over a fence. Bouncing on the pavement off my pelvis ensured maximum discomfort and humiliation.

There was booze involved, obviously, but tragically I think I did this because I caught half an hour of Jackass The Movie on Freeview last week.

Sketch Diary: Hopelessly devoted to... fags

Sometimes I have a look around and try to find the hidden camera. But it's never there.

This time I'd just been harassed by a lady who was going bonkers for a cigarette while sucking on a smoking cessation device. A big white stick delivering nicotine directly into her stupid face.

Sketch Diary: Falling Down

It's been a while since I posted a picture on here, because I am now a professional illustrator. Look how far I've come. I don't need this shit.

But when a lady who works in my office fell off a step and splatted her face into the pavement, I thought I'd better draw a picture.

Don't worry, I checked she was OK before laughing at her. And texting people about it.

I think these days, I enjoy watching the confused, embarrassed expression when they get up even more than the actual fall.